Overthinking is like being stuck in quicksand. The more you try to think your way out, the deeper you sink. It can paralyze you when faced with a decision, drain your energy with imaginary scenarios, and delay actions that could move your life forward.
What makes overthinking so dangerous is its disguise—it often feels like you’re being careful, thoughtful, or responsible. In reality, it’s often a shield for fear, self-doubt, or a desire to be seen as flawless.
My Personal Insight on Overthinking
In my case, what I used to call perfectionism or a commitment to excellence turned out to be something else. Deep down, it was a fear—not of failing, but of how I would be perceived if I did. It wasn’t about the outcome. It was about protecting my image. In hindsight, I saw that this behavior was less about responsibility and more about ego. I had to learn a truth that was liberating and painful: people don’t think about you as much as you think they do. They’re focused on their own problems. What matters to them is how your work benefits them—not your inner fears. Understanding this changed how I approach decisions, confidence, and my own internal narrative.
1. Acknowledge the Root of Overthinking: Ego, Not Perfection
Brené Brown, in The Gifts of Imperfection, says:
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence. It is not about healthy achievement… It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.”
Overthinking often stems from this shield. It’s not always about doing things well. It’s about being afraid of being judged, of not being seen as smart, capable, or “in control.”
To stop overthinking, first ask yourself:
- Am I trying to get it right—or trying to be liked?
- Am I avoiding error—or avoiding criticism?
2. Set Decision Timeframes to Prevent Analysis Paralysis
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, writes:
“If you want to master a habit, the key is to start with repetition, not perfection.”
This same logic applies to decisions. Waiting for the perfect option kills momentum. Instead, create internal deadlines: 5 minutes for low-stakes decisions, 24 hours for moderate ones, and no more than 7 days for important ones. What matters most is not having all the information, but having enough to act.
3. Reduce Your Mental Load by Creating Filters
One way to reduce overthinking is to set decision filters based on values and priorities. If a choice aligns with your values and brings you closer to your long-term goals, it’s usually a good one—even if it feels uncomfortable.
Ask yourself:
- Does this support the kind of person I want to become?
- Is this decision helping or distracting me from what matters most?
Using principles as filters eliminates the need to rethink everything from scratch.
4. Shift the Focus from “What If I’m Wrong?” to “What If I Learn?”
Seth Godin famously said:
“If failure is not an option, then neither is success.”
If you spend your energy trying to avoid wrong decisions, you rob yourself of the lessons that come only through action. Instead of obsessing about potential mistakes, start viewing each choice as an experiment. If it works, great. If not, you adjust.
5. Limit Input, Maximize Insight
Overthinkers often drown in research, opinions, and “just one more article.” But more input rarely leads to more clarity.
Try this:
- Limit yourself to 3 sources of input.
- Talk to just one trusted mentor or friend.
- Then unplug—and process in silence.
True insight comes not just from information, but from processing it with self-trust.
6. Take Imperfect Action to Break the Loop
James Clear also reminds us:
“Motion makes you feel like you’re getting things done. But really, you’re just preparing to get something done. Action, not motion, is what matters.”
Overthinking loves motion—researching, planning, list-making. But only action gives clarity. Once you’ve thought enough, act. Send the email. Make the call. Launch the page. Do the thing—even if it’s rough.
7. Rewire Your Inner Dialogue
The stories you tell yourself matter. If your mind is filled with self-doubt, even the smallest choice feels monumental.
Replace:
- ❌ “What if they think I’m not good enough?” With:
- ✅ “If it adds value, that’s what they’ll care about.”
Replace:
- ❌ “I’ll regret it if I fail.” With:
- ✅ “I’ll regret it more if I never try.”
Your thoughts aren’t facts. Choose them wisely.
8. Remember That People Think Less About You Than You Imagine
Psychologists call it the “Spotlight Effect”—our tendency to overestimate how much others notice or care about what we do.
As social psychologist David Schlenker notes:
“People are generally too preoccupied with themselves to pay much attention to you.”
This isn’t cynical—it’s freeing. Once you realize others are focused on their own lives, it becomes easier to act boldly. Your decision won’t be under a microscope. Most people are wondering how your decision affects them—not you personally.
9. Reconnect With Purpose Instead of Obsession With Outcome
When your goal is contribution—not control—you act more freely. Focus on being useful, adding value, showing up authentically. Let go of the obsession with being perfect or admired.
As Simon Sinek says:
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”
Decide not from fear of outcome, but from alignment with purpose.
10. Let Silence and Solitude Guide You
Sometimes, overthinking thrives because you’re always surrounded by noise. Find time for intentional silence—whether through journaling, prayer, meditation, or a walk. It calms the nervous system and helps your real voice rise above the mental noise.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need More Certainty—You Need More Trust
Overthinking is not a thinking problem. It’s a trust problem. Trust in yourself. Trust in your values. Trust that you can course-correct if needed.
Let go of the need to impress. Let go of the need to get it right the first time. Let go of the illusion that your identity depends on one decision.
You are not your mistakes. You are the person who learns from them.
The only way forward is action—imperfect, real, human action.